


Unrequited

by writertitan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Era, Canon Universe, Gen, Light Angst, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:28:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29980140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writertitan/pseuds/writertitan
Summary: Every time you see Captain Levi off on an expedition, you fall just a little bit more in love with him.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Reader, Levi Ackerman/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44





	Unrequited

Hushed whispers sound throughout the crowd as the Scouting Regiment treks towards the wall. You ignore everything that’s said, even if it’s praise, even if it’s libel. As you elbow your way towards the front, all you care about is getting a good view of the Scouts. 

Ever since you were a child, you’d made it your mission to see the Scouts off and then welcome them back, no matter what. Even if it means you have to drop everything you’re doing, like now. 

Today, you know it’s just a general scouting mission to map out some new terrain. In theory, there shouldn’t be too many casualties. So today, you have high hopes that you’ll see most of the stoic faces passing you by again. 

You’ve tried your best to learn names, but so far you can only memorize faces. It soothes you, to know that there are enough Scouts that you can’t name them all. 

You ignore the whispers as your eyes scan over every face, silently wishing them a safe journey outside the walls. People always have something to say. It’s long since stopped bothering you to the point of vocalizing your own opinions, but it’s still annoying to hear the mix of disdain and pure awe threading along the throngs of civilians. Why can’t they just have some respect? 

There’s a small commotion in the Scouts’ formation that grabs your attention. Immediately, you notice Commander Erwin, one of the names you know well, obviously. But today, there are new faces riding alongside Erwin. A blond man, a red-haired girl, and a raven-haired man. None of these are Scouts you’ve seen before, but they appear close with each other. 

New recruits, you conclude. 

The way your gaze falls back to the raven-haired man time and time again has you confused. There’s a small part of you that just feels pulled to him, as if by gravity, but you don’t know why. You end up keeping your eyes on him as he passes you by, with him never once glancing at you, and you don’t look away even when you’re just watching the back of his head. 

With a start, you realize you didn’t wish the rest of the Scouts a safe journey. You’d been so busy staring at the strange, new man that you had forgotten your little ritual. It makes you panic a little, which is silly. It’s just a ritual that you’ve imposed on yourself. Everyone will be fine, whether you wish them luck and safety or not. 

But you forget about how silly you felt earlier when you’re gathered outside to welcome the Scouts back later on, with a huge chunk of them gone, or carried in wagons. 

The relief you feel when you see a head of black hair is short-lived for a multitude of reasons. He looks haunted upon closer inspection. The blond man and red-haired girl are nowhere to be found. And you feel sick at the thought you would even feel relief that he’s okay, when so many of his comrades are not okay at all. 

When he’s passing you by, so close and yet so far, you hear Commander Erwin address him as “Levi,” and your brain sears the name into your memory. 

“Levi,” you whisper to yourself, tasting the name on your tongue. You want to tell him you’re glad he’s safe, that you’re sorry about his comrades, but you don’t. Instead, as he disappears from your sight, you walk back to your little shop and get back to work.

***

The next send-off feels different than all the rest. This time around, you feel almost fluttery, and there’s a ball of anticipation weighing in your stomach as you push your way to the front of the crowd for a good view. You tell yourself that you don’t know why you’ve been looking forward to seeing the Scouts. A fleeting memory of black hair is one you push to the back of your mind. 

When the first of them come into view, you crane your neck for a good view, eyes making sure to land on every face and wish them a safe journey. 

The whispers start up instantly and you grit your teeth. You could have sworn you were used to it by now. So, you tune it out, and you wait. You wait until Commander Erwin comes into view. And then, when you realize you’ve correctly guessed there would be a dark-haired man by his side, that fluttery feeling you’ve had inside of you all day erupts and you actually feel physically shaky now as they come closer and closer. 

“Have you heard those rumors about Levi?” 

Suddenly, you’re interested in the whispers. 

“Yeah, I heard he’s a hard criminal. This is how they’re making him pay for his sins. It was either join the Scouts or get the death penalty.” 

There’s a snort, and then a cruel, “Kinda the same thing.”

You ball your hands into fists and stuff them into your apron so you don’t get carried away. 

As Erwin and Levi pass by on their horses, you gaze up at them in awe, but again your eyes go to Levi. 

And then you feel it again. The gravity. The sight of Levi pulls you in and your gaze feels anchored to him only. 

But you’ve learned your lesson and this time, you tear your gaze away to look at every other face that passes you by, so you can wish them luck and safety outside the walls. 

When you go back to work, you let yourself reminisce on Levi’s profile, the straightness of his nose, the jut of his chin, the delicate curve of his cheek. He somehow looks more stoic than Commander Erwin, which you didn’t think was possible.

Your eyes flutter to the window of your shop and you sigh dreamily, whispering out what you can’t say to Levi directly.

“Be safe, please.”

***

It goes from just Levi to _Captain_ Levi very quickly and you feel a surge of pride course through you when those whispers make their way into your ears. From what you’ve heard, Levi - _Captain_ Levi - is supremely gifted at being a fighter, a soldier, and has steadily been racking up his number of titan kills. He’s impressive and people are recognizing that he’s impressive. It makes you grin from ear to ear until the recognition reaches Anya and Lumie, the two girls who work in the tavern just around the corner. It’s _their_ whispering that you listen to as you wait for the Scouts to return from their latest expedition. It’s not really whispering, since they’re a few people down and you can still hear everything. 

“He’s strong and he’s a captain now, and very handsome,” you hear Lumie say.

“And the best part? He’s a bachelor!” Anya responds excitedly. “Who cares if he’s short?” 

You bristle at the backhanded compliment. 

Anya and Lumie are at the front of the crowd as well, but just a few people away from you, and they use it to their advantage as Captain Levi comes into view. 

He’s as neutral-faced as ever, but he seems to snap out of it as Anya and Lumie call out to him. 

“Hi, Captain Levi!” 

“Welcome back, Captain Levi!” 

They both giggle and wave and you can’t help but notice how supremely beautiful they look today under the late afternoon sun, with their shiny hair and rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes. 

When Captain Levi catches sight of them and nods to them in acknowledgment, your heart thrums in some panicked way. 

You so badly want to speak to him. You want to suddenly have the courage to raise up your hand and wave to him and call out his name and say hello, and say thank you. 

You don’t do any of that. You’re very aware that, under this late afternoon sun, you’re sweaty and frazzled. 

Captain Levi turns his gaze straight ahead as he passes you by. He doesn’t see you at all, you don’t catch his eye, but the gravity is full force for you and you gaze longingly at his retreating form even as people start dispersing. 

You’re late to get back to work.

***

When the day comes that you don’t see Captain Levi riding back inside the walls on his horse, bile starts to rise in your throat at what that could mean. Humanity’s Strongest couldn’t have been hurt…or worse…right? 

You see Commander Erwin, his face blank, and your bottom lip trembles when your eyes don’t catch sight of the familiar head of black hair. 

“Where are you?” you whisper to yourself, willing the wind to carry your words to the Scouts, as if someone could hear and answer your question somehow. 

The civilians are whispering again (what else is new?), but the whispers are as panicked and curious as you feel inside. 

You grow more and more frantic when Levi doesn’t turn up, and you really do contemplate it. You contemplate stepping forward and grabbing a scout by the shoulders and shaking them and demanding to know where Captain Levi is. 

The scenario plays in your head clearly and is enough to make you take a step forward, a hand outstretched to grab the attention of a scout. But then the whispers melt into disbelief, and then back into that disdain you’ve grown familiar with. 

“…so-called Humanity’s Strongest,” you hear the end of a whisper. 

“He’s in that wagon there. Apparently got hurt,” another voice says. 

Your eyes lock on the wagon that’s pointed out by a stranger, and your breath catches in your throat when you see the black hair you’ve been seeking out. 

Levi is draped in his green cloak and it’s smattered with blood. He’s bandaged up. His head is held high, but his eyes are as haunted as they were when he had come back that fateful day without the blond and redhead. 

As the wagon nears you, you’re about to send that silent relief that you’re glad he’s okay, but an unexpected thing happens. 

The man next to you decides to act on a moment of boldness. He cups his hands around his mouth and says something that makes you snap. 

“Not so strong now, are ya, _Captain Levi_?” 

And just like that, Levi’s eyes snap towards your general direction and you freeze for a split second. The moment you’ve only dreamt of up until now is about to happen, and for all the wrong reasons. What if Levi looks at you and thinks you associate with this asshole who says cruel things? 

You don’t know what takes over your body when you shove the man, hard, and then raise your hand to slap him across his stupid face. 

“Shut up!” you seethe, hand flying down to finally land that slap to his face. 

But someone from behind you snatches your wrist before your palm can make excruciating contact with the man’s cheek. 

You don’t fight it. Instead, your gaze goes back to where it always goes. Your heart stops. 

Levi is looking at you, at _you_ , and his expression is unreadable. Any thought in your mind whooshes right out and you feel as if you’re floating, but it’s sort of an uncomfortable feeling, like you won’t be able to come down to earth. 

Your mouth gapes for a moment as you try to say something, anything, while Levi’s attention is on you, but all you can register in your mind is that this is the first time you’ve noticed the color of Levi’s eyes. They’re a dazzling and unusual grey. You wouldn’t have ever known that if he had never looked at you. 

“Thank you,” you call out to him without thinking. You must look like quite the sight, with frenzied eyes and being held back from smacking the lights out of a stranger. You try not to think about how you look, and think about what you’ve just said. 

You know how he’ll take it. He’ll think you’re thanking him for his service, for his bravery, for his efforts to save humanity. 

You are the only one who knows that you’re thanking him for finally noticing you, and for allowing you to find out that he has the most beautiful eyes. 

Maybe you just imagine it, but you swear that there’s a small flash of gratitude in his eyes, and that alone makes the scene you’ve caused all worth it.

***

The next time the Scouts are due to leave for an expedition, you almost don’t go out to silently wish them all well.

You fight with yourself about it all night. You don’t want to be there, watching, for one big reason. 

You are hopelessly in love with Captain Levi of the Scouting Regiment. 

You had just come to the realization recently, right after that altercation that made him finally look at you. It feels ridiculous to call it love. How can you love someone who doesn’t know you? Someone who has only looked at you once? Someone who has never spoken to you, and has only heard you speak two words to them? 

And yet it is love. Undeniably, it is love. 

How else can you describe the gravity? 

You’ve been pulled to him since the first time you saw him. 

You love Captain Levi and he will never love you, and you don’t know if you can keep going out and looking at him and pining for him and wishing for his safety and dreading that your wish doesn’t come true. 

“I won’t go today,” you say to yourself, in your empty little shop, your tone not nearly as determined as you want it to be. “It won’t matter if I stay in here. Nothing will happen.”

The prickle of superstition prods at your spine, memories flooding your head of that fateful day of first seeing Levi with his friends, and then without his friends, and how you had failed to properly give all of the scouts your attention. 

“Just a silly superstition,” you try to convince yourself, rubbing a rag into an empty mug. You try to concentrate on your work tasks, willing yourself to just stay put, but the itch to go out overwhelms you and you end up groaning loudly in defeat as you sulk towards the door of your shop.

You stop there, hand on the doorknob, and you try to get yourself to stay. One final attempt.

“If you go out there,” you whisper to yourself, “you’ll be going out there knowing that you will only ever know unrequited love. Can you handle that?” 

Your head screams that you can’t handle that. There’s no way. You should just go back to work.

But your heart. 

Your goddamned heart. 

It tells you to go out there and make sure that you make the wish you always make. Because if you really love him, and you know you do, you’re going to be brave about it and make sure he’s safe. 

You make a compromise with your head and your heart. As you step outside and into the crowd, you don’t make it to the very front with the good view. You settle for a spot in the middle, where you can still see the Scouts and be able to do what you always do. 

That head of dark hair comes into view next to Erwin and you smile sadly to yourself. He’s not staring straight ahead for once. He’s actually conversing with Erwin about something and Erwin is listening intently. You stare at them both with determination, the determination you’d wished you’d had in your shop earlier, and wish for them to return back to you safely. 

As your eyes move on dutifully to the next group of scouts, you don’t catch Levi moving his gaze from Erwin to sweep across the crowd, and you don’t feel his eyes land on you. 

He looks away just as quickly, and gazes straight ahead as Erwin speaks to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Follow me on Tumblr (writertitan) for more content and general tomfoolery.


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